Man for some reason I just dont blog much anymore haha and when I do its so few and far between lately that now they are long as post every couple of weeks haha. So to keep thing short…….. I had a really great weekend with my family and anthony. I wanted to go up to tahoe today for a few hours but anthony had to work late and I wanted to watch sunday night football……..and as for yesterday the football game was good; however, my school lost and sac city college goes on to the championships man I have become such a pic whore lately its just ridiculous. I had some good pics from the football game on my cell phone but my cell phone got bumped off the bed on accidentley and ironically landed in a cup of koolaid i had sitting on the floor, thanks to poochie getting to hyper lol i ran downstairs and left her on my bed lol came back 5 minutes later and it was in the cup, so unless it drys out no pics haha but i did stick it in a bag of rice and it seems to be working, it will turn on and the screen looks fine but i gotta leave it in there for a few days….. we were sitting with my academic adviser watching the game and she took some good pics of me and him that i cant wait to see. Yesterday was the best day I have had in a long time, Since we didnt have nothing to do in the morning we really laid around in bed and just snuggled bein goofy and watching a movie until around 1130 it was so nice. So I did have a lot to right about but I am drawing a blank right now, but hey I am still working on those projects and might be working on a third one with the olivia that will give all of you something to do. Si this week i am going to be swamped in school, I have my second interview due in my psych class on wed that i still have to finish up, I got the analysis done and have to go ask niecy the questions again. ugh my bodys so sore :( anyways i gotta shower before ant gets here so have a great night, hope everyone had a great weekend, mine was over all good the ony downfall i can see is the fact that i lost my f iD in my friends car, well i hope thats where i lost it haha…… Ciao!!!!!!!!!!

[[INSERT RANT]] I have been bombarded with so many fake people lately and it is fucking driving me nuts, fake ass bitches who can appear to be nice but then act like they are better then you, talk shit behind your back and so on and so forth. Im sick of it and am slowly but surely cutting those dumb ass people out of my fucking life, I have been holding my tongue on so many things lately but dont let it fool you thats not who i am im a bitch i know it and u kno what i dont take no shit from no one, I was being nice because leo wanted me too, but fuck it you kno when i let people do things that i dont like i feel like a fucking door mat and thats not who i am. I am working on being a better person, working on having more patience and so on and so forth. Full warning ou never know, if you try and act shady with me or do things i consider fucked up or two faced i will fucking tell your fake ass to move the fuck around!!!!!!!!!!!!

[[END RANT]]

Yes I do realize its still November, AND yes I do realize that Christmas is over a MONTH away; however, winter and this time of year is my favorite, so guess what I guess I will have a layout up longer then a month haha, well at least until after christmas. Okay new layout, added some things and took some things from my sidebar, have edited a few pages and plan to finish the rest sometime this weekend.I am still trying to get my smilies to work properly in my admin panel and for some reason I am still having no luck with that, so if anyone knows of any good plugins besides WP GRINS please let me know. I am also working on 2 more sites, doing some thing with the Hosting Domain , as well as my online portfolio, which I am not gonna plug until I have it finished. I do plan on setting some time aside tomorrow to get back to my lovlies who have commented me lately or emailed me, yea things have just been that blah lately……….

So as of right now I guess you could say I really do not have much that I feel like talking about. I went up to Tahoe on Sunday night with my sister, her boyfriend, Anthony, myself and a few other people, and yes while there are other pictures to show I choose to post this one haha. Speaking of Anthony he has been so great lately, so supportive of me and has just been there for me 100% no matter what time it is. I have been at his house for the past 4 days because I just did not want to be alone. I have not had much energy to do anything lately, but am starting to feel a lil better and no I am not complaining or saying how bad my life is, but hey we all have our moments. Just knowing that he was sleeping next to me really helped me sleep for the past few days and keep the nightmares at bay. It is kind of weird to think about him and all of a sudden being there for me considering how strained things have been between us over the past year, but like he told me we were friends before we became lovers and we will be friends after, just one of those things that take some time. Spending time with him has been nice, I find myself thinking more and more about him when he is at work and im at his house waiting for him to get home lol. Who knows, HISTORY SOMETIMES REPEATS ITS SELF. I guess this all comes with me growing up a lot lately, not really growing up, so much as, changing into the type of person I want to be. More and more lately, I find myself distancing myself from people I thought were my friends and I just, straight up, can not stand them and have cut ties with a few people lately. As for me and Leo, things may not always work out how you plan, and who knows what the future holds, but I guess I have to learn how to let him go, just as much as he has to learn  to let me go, and let me tell you, it is easier said then done, going from having the greatest person you know in your life on the daily basis, to not having them in it at all is a hard thing to do. But deep down I feel that is the right thing for me right now, and he understands that too. Although, I still have my fingers crossed that he gets that job training marines down in CP  in san diego because if not he will be going BACK TO IRAQ, and honestly I dont think I can take that, Im not as strong as my sister, I dont know how she has done with her and frankie, I only hope if he does go that I can learn to be strong like her and be there for him the best way I can……… ughhhhhhh okay time to go, anthonys getting off work and I think im gonna bring him some food :P i hope everyone is doing good and having a great week……….Think im gonna see if anthony wants to go hiking tomorrow :) I need some excersize haha………. and I dont think the gym is gonna cut it; althogh getting H & N might….(yea lol i can see it now) randi the naughty lil minx…….  haha okay I kid lol imma and that name is already by someone near and dear to me lately

BuRRRRRRRRRRRRr its been flipping cold lately. Just got home from a nice dinner yea a date haha and am about to watch a movie with him :loved:. Long story short, shit happens, things may not always work out how we want them to but that does not mean that life in general should be that way. It is what it is and why not take that leap, you never know how things will go until you try them out and im sure i am going to get a lot of backlash when everything is said and done but fuck it i really dont give a fuck no more and I am gonna work on keeping myself happy and if that involves spending time with him so be it. Anthony is my first love, i have a lot of people in my face right now telling me how bad i am fucking up because it did not work out the first time so why would this time be different. who fucking knows, but whos to say it wont? and in regards to my more recent relationship, well I will always look back and be thanful for everything that he has taught me and like i have said and i will still say regardless of what has happen between us, but he will always be the good in me and my better half. Its just the time to walk away and take the pain with me.  Yes I do love him, and hopefully one day we can be friends but for right now there is no way I can be his friend. Like I have ben saying I have chose my music now its time to dance.  Okay as I have previously mentioned I have no will for this site, or posting on anything besides PLURK. I have no idea why but i’m not really tripping haha. My blog post have been becoming few and far between, along with me responding to comments, sorry guys please do not take it personal. I will respond to comments again and kick my website into gear agan and yea my lack of has lost me my pr ranks. I am thinking about making a holiday christmas layout (okay who am i kidding its already done) and yea it is a little bit early; however, I love christmas, it is my favorite time of year, so you guys might have to deal. Well I know technically summer has been over for around 2 months now and I have yet to put my summer clothes away, It is way to cold for them now and it makes me so so happy :happy:. I love my sweaters, sweater dresses, scarfs, uggs and well you get the point. One more month and I will be in Aspen, relaxing on the slopes. Speaking of, we have gotten a bit of rain and snow here in northern california over the past two weeks and some of the local ski resorts decided to open early. Im geeked haha. Am planning on taking a drive tomorrow up to the snow. As I said it was cold and I had to break out the winter clothes and yes that includes the toe socks haha. They are cute lil bastards haha. And yes those are piggies. Okay on to other things. It is very hard to believe that these past few months have gone by so fast and that we have around a month of school left. Football games for my school are coming to an end already, we have one game left next week and it is  the “cross  city rival” for championships, I cannot wait. I have already took my final exam in my human development class and will find out how I did on that exam on wed.  I took my third exam out of five in my psych exam along with turning in my research paper on ADOLESCENT DRUG USE, which is not hard to write about; however, using these certain resources made it a little hard. I still have 2 more exams in that class and 2 more life interviews involving a school aged child and a teen. So looking forward to that, okay not really lol I think im gonna skimp on it and just mock my teen interview. Okay enough about school lol its almost over and thats what it is. Work is so slow lately and I have applied for a seasonal job at the mall so keep your fingers crossed for me . I need something to keep me busy.  I had something else to write but I just had a brain lapse and ANT is back from the store so im gonna go snuggle up down stairs and watch a movie with him……. Hope everyone is doing good and I am gonna be making some reply rounds tomorrow since I dont have school so be prepared haha. Also big ups to the US MARINECORPS turning 233 years old tomorrow :) and you have veterans day the day after.  Stop and say a prayer for everyone who has faught for our country and for our rights to be here right now. I guess growing up veterans day was a big deal in my family having a father in the army can do that to you. Needless to say Life as I know it has changed, hopefully for the better. I need to learn to let go of things more and just let it be, like leo told me thats where we started to go wrong, when i stopped letting things be. I owe it to him to learn to let things be, because no matter what all he wants is for me to be happy and do better so I need to try and do that for him. Oh almost forgot, I have been to the gym at least 3 times a week for the past month and I am glad to be back in habit, have lost like 15 pounds but that sucks because I lost that because of stress and not eating :( bad randi, but its okay I shall do better haha………….. CIAO Lovas ;) hope everyone is having a great weekend :)